Reminiscing Isn't Always Bad...You Just Have To Be Careful In What You Are Thinking About

The latest feeling I have had to experience today was hope. I felt hope and it made me feel happy. The job I have now... sometimes, it's hard not to ask "are you okay" because most of the people I talk to on a daily basis live with a disease that there is no cure for, and no, I'm not talking about the "c" word. 

It's called MS or multiple sclerosis. There's different types (I bet you didn't know that!) ... there's relapsing, remitting, remitting persistent, etc ... and the drugs that are out there to help people cope with their disease can sometimes make it harder for day-to-day living. 

But it is amazing how one individual or a group of individuals in an organization can make such a difference. Most people think that pharmaceutical companies are just out there for the money; and yes, I can see how that argument would go, but I can also see how it is from the other side... some people actually do want to help. It's not all about the money, but in the grand scheme of things, it is all about the lives that are helped. 

Imagine one person being able to help; now imagine an entire organization who not only makes the products but also provide the assistance to the public. 

As for why I've titled this post the above sentence (err... fragment, whatevs) ... I just feel as if I'm only moving for the sake of moving. I had motivation once upon a time. I really did. Nowadays, it's the same ole thing. And I do love my job. I love where I am. I love what I'm doing. It's just that olde feeling again.... the feeling that I should be doing more. And I know I deserve more, but should I also be doing more? I don't know. 

I have a new group of friends I hang out with and see, and it's great and all. Learning new things are always a plus, but that annoying feeling - that I should be doing more in my life ... it has stuck its head out and really, I wish it hadn't. 

/shrugs 

Never in my wildest dreams would I have seen myself where I am now. And to be quite honest, I don't know how to feel about that. Hmmm. 

Summer Lingers in August while September Sweetly Whispers to Ears, "Autumn is Right Around the Corner"

It's been one interesting roller-coaster of emotions, but if you know me at all in RL, then you know that isn't any breaking news. (Wow, I've started this entry with a bunch of cliche sounding phrases. HA!)

So, it is August. And this summer has been one sleeper of events, unexpected outbursts, and overall happiness. I have traded in my 2008 Chevy Cobalt for a 2007 Sahara Jeep Wrangler Unlimited (insert enthusiastic smile right here) ... oh yea. My car Sam is no match to my trail-ready Dean. (bonus points to whomever can guess why I named my vehicles those names, but just like Who's Line Is It Anyways. the points do not matter. Teeheehee)

Have I said that I love my job? I bet I did, but I'm going to say it again: I LOVE MY JOB. Some days, it can be stressful, but I would not trade it for anything. My co-workers, the work environment, the guarantee of a raise each year... can't really complain. Well, I can, but it's not the job's fault; it's the people ...err the patients and maybe some coworkers of mine located in a different site. Yet, even the patients themselves can bring an otherwise mundane Monday and make into something special. I don't exactly know how to describe it, but yea. That's how I feel and I'm sticking to it.

I did do something this past Sunday that I never thought I would do, and what I did was accompany a coworker to see a psychic. And yes, I had a reading done, too. And it wasn't anything earth-shattering, but I am quite surprised that she knew that much about me. And I guess I will find out if what she said will be true; she gave me a date of sorts so we shall see. (She also gave me a timeline of sorts ---about a next step in regards to my relationship status so that's the second half of which we shall see, too)

We shall see indeed. My coworker and I ---well she's a friend now I suppose so let me rewrite that: my friend and I agreed that we will see the same psychic next year, around the same time frame we did this year.

I find that I'm susceptible to people's emotions so on a daily basis my mood is never stable. However, I've learned how to control it. Kinda. Who knows.

It'll be Winter Soon Enough

I figured I should write since it has been about six months since I've last updated ...let's see: I love my job.I love what I do. I make a difference in someone's life every day, and it feels like I've fallen into my niche. Some things have changed -again- but that's how my life is. Full of surprises and they aren't always the best. 

In about five months or so, I will be closing the chapter known as my 20s. Tragic, right? Not really. I consider my 20s as the Learning Years. Because I have learned a lot. I got my heart broken, then stitched right back up only to get broken again. Growing pains. Gotta love 'em. Or hate 'em. I'm impartial. I remember falling in love with a group of people, only to not hang out with them any more. I took a temporary placement in an industry and work environment I would have never imagined myself to be in; and yet, that risk paid off and I reiterate -- I love my job. I love the environment, the people, and what we do in general for everyone... 

It has been a grand ride. Thought I found my co-conspirator, my partner, for future endeavors ... but I was wrong. Again. Oh well. That's life, right? You make choices, bad decisions, and all of that .... and you might feel as if the world is against you, but it's not. You can't stay down. There's always a window of opportunity opening somewhere after a door closes. 

I just know that I don't like the bar scene. I did. But I don't want to do that every night. Maybe once in a blue moon. I am sorta set in my ways, but I'm still open to suggestions. I know what I want and what I deserve. I shouldn't try to make something happen because that's what it should be. It should happen on its own accord. At its own pace. 

Some people are in a hurry to get that "normal" life.... and as much as I want someone or something ... sometimes it isn't meant to be. And yes, that hurts. Gotta keep moving forward. And continue. And all that. 

But that is what is up with my life. At the moment, I'm sad. Yet, I'm still smiling. Kinda.