One more month...

It's almost the month of June, the month of "awesome" approaches!

Not much else to say... too many things have happened, and well, sometimes I feel as if I'm drowning on land. My friends keep me afloat, and I really appreciate that. I have no idea how else I would have survived without my friends.

DrFastandFurious is ... well, he is himself. And I'm still me. /sighs but you know what? I am trying... not sure where I'm going exactly, but I am enjoying the journey.

Saw Fast Five!!!! It was so amazing, and I want to see it at least a few more times. :)

And Thor comes out soon; gonna be seeing that soon.

I do hope this May will be less painful; I'm having such a bad year, and it's only the fifth month. Thanfully, I'm a survivor. At least, I like to think I am.

my most dearest wish

You would think would be that my head would stop throbbing, which I guess it could be that but my most dearest wish isn't that...


Those who are close to me, closest to my heart, knows what it is... too bad it may never happen with how things are going for me. I feel as if I'm very light these days, that a strong wind can pick me up and blow me over.

That doesn't appeal to me, but it's how things are, I guess. I used to have an anchor, but ... I don't know.




I put up this strong front that I'm okay, that things will get better. I'm trying to hold myself together so the people around me who I care for won't feel what I'm feeling, but it does slip out. And I wish I knew how I could make it better, but I don't know how so instead, I float alongside the current to see where it may lead me, when all I want is ...

time.

some me time was in order

Today was a day that I didn't have to go into work as the new project that I'm currently signed up for starts on Tuesday, and Sunday night was filled with movies!!! MOVIES. This movie addiction that I have acquired from Dr.FastandFurious. 


Anyways, I watched the Amityville Horror, the remake ... and no me gusta scary movies. No thanks. Then, watched the Other Guys, which was hilarious! Watched some Scrubs episodes, The Last Kiss, and ended it with Ghost, but didn't finish because I fell asleep. 

And this glorious off day on a Monday ... all I did was clean up the room, start laundry, download songs on iTunes, and sleep. Until now, because I was awaken and reminded by my ticking bomb that hey, just coz you're having fun doesn't mean you get to forget me /sighs ha. As if I could ever forget its presence.


So...
 
I love watching movies and cuddling on a couch. The best part, for me, was that it was a good guy friend who had no interest in getting into my pants. Because that is the last thing I need right now. All I want from everyone is friendship. I cannot afford to get into anything else at the moment, even though I would not mind getting involved with someone at the moment. I just can't do it. I shouldn't do it because I haven't moved on and without my permission, my heart has decided it wants to wait for DrFastandFurious, and I have no idea if I'm waiting in vain or not. Guess I'll know a year from now...


The dreams of mine are going to drive me crazy.... I guess my subconscious really wants me to get married and have children. Or its my internal clock speaking. I don't know. For me, it is something that I want to happen, but not any time soon. Friendship is what I'm concentrating on.

To be honest, I wouldn't mind disappearing. To just be gone, and maybe forgotten. I don't know... to not be here any longer. 


The last few weeks, I've been feeling like this. As if I should just pack up and go. I'm not sure where I'm going, but I'm certain I wouldn't mind being just gone. I might be missed. Who knows... maybe no one will notice that I'm no longer around.