Tuesday, August 16, 2011

a little bit introspective - a reflection

Piano Duel [from Jay Chou's The Secret, part 2 of 11)

Ever since I can remember, I've had this fascination with music... always singing, and at times, off-key, and always dancing without even realizing it. I got better, though, in curbing my fascination with music, and now, I have a constant playlist playing in my head. But, sometimes, it slips out... whistling under my breath one moment, and the next, humming, which, in turn, becomes a song blossoming in my heart -- and sometimes, it escapes my mouth. Kinda embarrassing when it happens, though, especially at a crowded airport [I've done this twice now. Thankfully, I sang on-key and received applause :)].

Anyways... I've always had a fascination with music. I guess you could say that I've had the same fascination with the written word, which is why I majored in English Creative-Writing in college. I love reading and writing. I don't really like writing papers or doing research, but I'll do it. I much prefer writing poetry, short stories... I loved to write. And nowadays, I barely write :( I just haven't found the inspiration to write any more. I've even lost the motivation to be keep working on my written stuff, too. /shrugs

It seems to me that back then, when I was down/depressed/just didn't have good luck, I wrote better. You could say that my writings are somewhat tied to my emotions, and these days, I keep a tight hold on mine. I wrote to release all of that, and now, I don't even let myself... I used to write frequently in my Xanga blog, but again, just don't have the inspiration to do so of late.

With all of that said, I have reread some of my stories and journal entries, and I've realized that I've changed, possibly grown, but I still retain that reckless me, and I've hurt some people in my life unintentionally. I've let down some people, too. And I've met some new people who brings a little more sunshine to my life, and I'm very grateful for that.

Even though I'm going through a rough patch in my life right now, I know that I have people in my life that I can count on to help me keep going ...

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