Friday, February 18, 2011

just a friendly reminder ...


1. Honesty is the best policy. (It really is. So, if you're asked a question, like "does this make me look fat," say so. True it may hurt, but hey, at least we know you're telling the truth. Don't sugarcoat anything. An honest man is better than a lying one.)
2. Learn to listen. (Don't pretend you're listening. REALLY listen. You learn more about the opposite gender if you actually pay attention and not be distracted. Ignorance is NOT bliss.)
3. Construct your sentences correctly. (Abbreviations are nice and all, but it removes meaning when phrases like "I love you" becomes "ily" ...just saying. Also, double negatives are bad, and ending sentences in a preposition is wrong, but no one really cares these days.)
4. Never underestimate a woman. (Women underestimate themselves on a daily basis. I underestimate myself all the time, but that's me. Just remember that we already do it to ourselves, so we don't need you to do the same.
5. Never disrespect a woman's intelligence. (With number 4 paving the way, number 5 is redundant, but seriously, don't disrespect. True, we may have our dumb moments, but that doesn't mean we're stupid. We know we're smart; we tend to downplay our own intelligence because some men are intimidated by it.)
6. Give us compliments, but don't blow smoke. (When you compliment, mean it. Say what you mean, not what you think we want to hear. Be upfront, direct. HONEST.)

7. Always give your 110% at EVERYTHING! (This may be a tall order, but do your best in everything you possibly can. Ambition and self-confidence are turn-ons; just don't be arrogant about it.)
8. Be understanding. (Be the one person we can count on for anything [just don't take murder assignments ;)], be the one person we can go to when we just need someone to hold us because it's been a shitty day... just be you, and no one else.)
9. Do not try so hard ... it will come.

10. Be yourself!

(and if you take meds,... TAKE THEM ON TIME!) ;)

Thursday, February 17, 2011

o so fragile ...

"Your eyes show the strength of your soul."
—Paulo Coehlo

There's a part of me that feels as if every day is a test to what I can take. And some days, I feel as if I should throw in the towel, but somehow, I find a way to keep on going. It baffles me that I can still feel this much, and I can act as if things are okay, when I feel that they aren't, but they do feel okay so I'm left in this confused state of limbo. Taking a leap of faith requires courage. 

I find that to be quite hard. It's amazing how much I can still hold onto .... to the things I used to believe were to be gone, but here I am, at another crossroads in my life. I have so much to say, but for now, the best course of action is to say nothing at all. But you know what? My eyes can do all the talking for me. I don't need to say much because I show it anyways. Wearing my heart on my sleeve where everyone can see it isn't as obvious any more... so my eyes will do the talking. 

Everything I want to say is reflected in my eyes. Even the unshed tears brim. You can imagine all the unspoken words just waiting ... I have to keep reminding myself that it's all worth it in the end, but I find myself questioning. If actions speak louder than words, my actions have spoken volumes. I guess sometimes the ears just don't know when to tune in... and my eyes are my best asset. Or so I've heard [I like to think it's me -my entire being, but what do I know]. 

Where words can lie, my eyes can never. The light that shines from them is because of you.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


"It's risky, falling in love."

"I know that," I answered. "I've been in love before. 
It's like a narcotic. At first it brings the euphoria of complete surrender. 
The next day, you want more. You're not addicted yet, but you like the sensation, 
and you think you can still control things. 
You think about the person you love for two minutes, 
and forget them for three hours.

"But then you get used to that person, and you begin to be completely dependent on them. 
Now you think about him for three hours and forget him for two minutes. 
If he's not there, you feel like an addict who can't get a fix. 
And just as addicts steal and humiliate themselves to get what they need, 
you're willing to do anything for love."

"What a horrible way to put it," he said." 

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

just saying ...

If someone hurts you, react
Forgiveness comes afterwards

information overload

"Some souls are like sponges.
You cannot squeeze anything out of them 
except what they have sucked from you."
~Kahlil Gibran

Monday, February 14, 2011

it's just another day ...

"All alone in my arms I hold such beauty
I want time to stop right here
make perfection last forever
in which I could disappear, disappear."
-Too Much for One Heart sung by Lea Salonga

Happy Valentine's Day

Though, it's not a real holiday by any means... unless you're celebrating the massacre that happened on February 14, 1929 ... seven people murdered in Chicago, so yes, if you are celebrating that, well, red is the right color for the occasion as their blood did color the streets [Saint Valentine's Day Massacre]. Other than that, this day is really just another day, but Hallmark as well as numerous chocolate companies make bank on this day [as do jewelry stores for many guys buy their gals/SOs/wifeys gifts]. 

For me, well, I haven't had a great experience on this day. 

My ex-fiance back in 2004 took me to an Italian restaurant, and I remember getting sick from the food there. My ex-boyfriend W and I never really spent this day together because we were in a long-distance relationship so ... other not-so serious boyfriends gave me chocolate, which I always accepted but not always eaten because well, I don't like chocolate. 

Oh! W did give me a single rose once, and my ex-fiance gave me a bouquet of yellow roses, too, and I really like receiving flowers, but really? Roses? So cliche. And so not my favorite flowers in the world. I've gotten teddy bears as well and really cute cards. Overall, it's a so-so holiday full of consumerism and not a lot of feeling, and that's what I want. I want the romance behind the not-so holiday, but with my busy schedule and the fact that I feel incredibly tired after a work day, the last thing on my mind is to pretty up, dress stunningly, and go out on the town. Though, I could do that if asked. I'd rather just throw on a pair of jammies, put a movie in the player, and kick back with my guy. Cuddling is a must, though, especially if I haven't seen my guy for a period of time. /smiles 

Anyways, for those of you who are celebrating, have a great time with your significant other! Time spent together is important.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

let's dance!


...... it's official: this cute Filipina loves listening to Hindi music. 

what path are you on?

“We can never judge the lives of others, 
because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. 
It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path
but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”
~Paulo Coelho

Ever since I was a little girl, I have dreamed of being on stage. As much as I don't like being the center of attention, I don't mind it as much when I'm playing a character... I like performing. I enjoyed being in front of an audience. Yes, I did get stage fright, but first night jitters always happens to me, and after that first night, the following consecutive nights are just amazing. Simply fantastic. 

But, it wasn't meant to be. Singing -performing, in general- is a hobby for me. And I'm okay with that because as a little girl, I also dreamed of becoming an astronaut because I wanted to dance among the stars, and that, too, didn't happen because I found something more me: writing.
As much as I love music and singing, writing is my weapon of choice. I just love how versatile it is: you can set it to music, construct sentences that become paragraphs, that may -in turn- become novels, and novels can become scripts and it can be watched and enjoyed/hated on the big screens. Words are quite simply put -to me- my friends. It may hurt now and again, but I have had this affair with words ever since I learned how to read. 

And with words came my love for argument. I'm not saying that I love to argue because I don't. I'm very much a pacifist, but if you tell me I'm wrong, and I know I'm right, well.. let's just not go there. I will, however, listen to your opinion and respect it, but at the same time, I will also tell you what mine is. Most of the time, I just shrug and go with it.

Anyways.... I would really like to pursue a career in law some day. Right now, I'm a paralegal, and I'm good at what I do. But, to be in a courtroom, fighting for justice... a jury of contemporaries/peers/whatever you want to call them, and being the one person who can prove to everyone that your client is the innocent one... honestly, I don't like to talk, but if I have all sides of a story, and based on those facts, I know that my client is innocent, you bet that I will try my hardest to win it for my client, to prove to everyone of his/her innocence. 

Ultimate goal: Chief Justice... yes, I know. I have rather lofty goals, but hey, at least you know I aim high :winks: 
... when I stumbled upon that quote by Mr. Coehlo, it just made me think, and I'm still thinking. I don't know if I'm on the right path. I don't know if I'll even stay on this path because I've strayed from it far too long. I worked in the IT field for several years [started out in a computer lab while in college 2004, and I did work in IT since until recently so...] 

I have skills. I have ambition. Drive. Passion. MOTIVATION. What I don't have is direction. And I'm still struggling with this even now. 

In high school, we were all required to take a career test... and you know what I got? I got the big circle in the middle, which didn't provide me direction, and my guidance counselor told me that I can basically do whatever I want, and well, that didn't really help me... so I guess for now I'll continue to walk on this path, this one that leads to law, and perhaps I will reach that ultimate goal. I do have other goals in mind, but that's an entire different post waiting to be written.