Being Thankful

I've learned to roll with the punches, but lately, I think I have taken more hits and I really need to learn how to drop and duck. It's been a myriad of emotions ... I go from sad to miserable to anger and I'm not sure what to do.

But I am thankful for my life and the fact that I've almost live thirty years on this land.

Thankful for the lessons I've learned. Mostly I have made mistakes and for the most part I have learned, but not really. I feel empty inside and I don't know if I should be worried about my health any more because it is crap.

Thankful for the people I've met. I have learned to not be open but have also learned that I can trust again. Sure, it may have been foolish for my part but you know what? I now have learned that, too.

It's been an exciting life thus far.

I'm thankful for the friends I have remaining. Most of them are lingering thoughts, but they are there for a reason regardless. I'm thankful for whiskey. And bread. And jasmine rice.

I'm thankful for being able to learn and re-learn some things and discovering that even when I'm down, that I'm not down for the count. I'm around still. For some odd reason, I keep getting back up.

I'm even thankful for headaches because if I didn't have them any more, I'm pretty sure I have become numb permanently.

I remember how I was about five years ago... that self is long gone and have been replaced with someone wiser and older about how life works. I have been hurt and hurt a few more times after that. But even with my battered heart, my dying body and my ever-lustful spirit ... for some odd reason, I'm still here.

And for that, I'm thankful. I'm thankful for still having whatever ounce of fighting spirit that courses through my veins.