Saturday, August 09, 2014

It's been awhile hasn't it!

Hello :waves: hope all is well everyone 😄

I would love to make this a long post but we shall see how this goes, okies?
It's been a roller coaster of changes and really when has my life now been? Moved from one place to another and here's another chapter of my life closing so that a new one can start - had a side note happen briefly - let's title it LMN for referring purposes and what not - and it was fun while it lasted however brief it was though it could have been great but that is neither here nor there so anyways last time I was on this journal I was with B and that ended officially on four twenty and that relationship ended awhile back but we kept trying and taking each other back and it was insanity on both of our parts - we were just not good together as a couple and maybe someday we could be friends but right now idk where we stand - acquaintances? Even though we knew each other for three years, I don't think we really knew the other well - it wasn't love. More like a deep care for one another. I hope we can be friends ...someday. Perhaps. We shall see. As for the brief LMN snippet - it is what it is. What I feel about him - well neither here not there. It's done. Brief and done. Fun while it lasted. On to the next chapter. Let's just say I won't be forgetting 7/12 any time soon's a great memory regardless of what has transpired since. Oh well. It is what is. I'm going to get my own place soon and moving ...again. And it's going to be mine. Reconnected with a friend surprisingly today that I haven't heard from two years or so. It's nice and I'm rambling. My brain is filled with swirling thoughts and it's just a jumble in there and my heart? Yes, it's hurting but I'm internalizing like I always do. It's how I deal. Typically, I run or sing my frustrations. Or binge watch anime. Keep myself busy by writing or drawing / sketching. Anything but my thoughts - yea. I have no control. It does what it wants and LMN - yea. Oh well. Sooner that will fade, too. I wish my subconscious would quit messing with me, though. I'm sure at some point I will reach my breaking point. My limit so to speak. But this is why I internalize it. I don't have a soundboard - except for here. Oh! I do have exciting news: on August 29, I'll find out for sure that I have beaten cancer. Just waiting on a few more tests but all signs so far are pointing yes. 👍😄 as soon as that's done I'll move forward in figuring what's going on with the cyst in one of my ovary and I'm still figuring out what's going on with my migraines and headaches. Currently I'm taking 100mg of topamax and still wake up and sleep with a headache ...sighs. Tomorrow is the second super moon. September will be the third super moon. No repeat performances of 7/12 ..... And my second tattoo will be of Fairy Tail guild logo. Now to figure when and where to get it. Alright I think that's all I got - sorry reader for the fragments, run-ins and all that, I'm sort of free writing with no filter right now ...though there are no curse words at all. ✌️🐼

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