Sunday, February 13, 2011

what path are you on?

“We can never judge the lives of others, 
because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. 
It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path
but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”
~Paulo Coelho

Ever since I was a little girl, I have dreamed of being on stage. As much as I don't like being the center of attention, I don't mind it as much when I'm playing a character... I like performing. I enjoyed being in front of an audience. Yes, I did get stage fright, but first night jitters always happens to me, and after that first night, the following consecutive nights are just amazing. Simply fantastic. 

But, it wasn't meant to be. Singing -performing, in general- is a hobby for me. And I'm okay with that because as a little girl, I also dreamed of becoming an astronaut because I wanted to dance among the stars, and that, too, didn't happen because I found something more me: writing.
As much as I love music and singing, writing is my weapon of choice. I just love how versatile it is: you can set it to music, construct sentences that become paragraphs, that may -in turn- become novels, and novels can become scripts and it can be watched and enjoyed/hated on the big screens. Words are quite simply put -to me- my friends. It may hurt now and again, but I have had this affair with words ever since I learned how to read. 

And with words came my love for argument. I'm not saying that I love to argue because I don't. I'm very much a pacifist, but if you tell me I'm wrong, and I know I'm right, well.. let's just not go there. I will, however, listen to your opinion and respect it, but at the same time, I will also tell you what mine is. Most of the time, I just shrug and go with it.

Anyways.... I would really like to pursue a career in law some day. Right now, I'm a paralegal, and I'm good at what I do. But, to be in a courtroom, fighting for justice... a jury of contemporaries/peers/whatever you want to call them, and being the one person who can prove to everyone that your client is the innocent one... honestly, I don't like to talk, but if I have all sides of a story, and based on those facts, I know that my client is innocent, you bet that I will try my hardest to win it for my client, to prove to everyone of his/her innocence. 

Ultimate goal: Chief Justice... yes, I know. I have rather lofty goals, but hey, at least you know I aim high :winks: 
... when I stumbled upon that quote by Mr. Coehlo, it just made me think, and I'm still thinking. I don't know if I'm on the right path. I don't know if I'll even stay on this path because I've strayed from it far too long. I worked in the IT field for several years [started out in a computer lab while in college 2004, and I did work in IT since until recently so...] 

I have skills. I have ambition. Drive. Passion. MOTIVATION. What I don't have is direction. And I'm still struggling with this even now. 

In high school, we were all required to take a career test... and you know what I got? I got the big circle in the middle, which didn't provide me direction, and my guidance counselor told me that I can basically do whatever I want, and well, that didn't really help me... so I guess for now I'll continue to walk on this path, this one that leads to law, and perhaps I will reach that ultimate goal. I do have other goals in mind, but that's an entire different post waiting to be written.

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