Thursday, February 03, 2011

my biggest enemy is me

But, I'm also my biggest fan. So, how can it be both enemy and fan?

I hold myself back for the most part. It's the cautious part of me, and I've learned that being cautious isn't bad, but sometimes, I wonder if I didn't hold myself back on some things, if things would be different now.

I think I have a great destiny ahead of me. One of which I don't plan on letting go any time soon, but again, I hold myself back, and it's beginning to irk me.

I did take a leap of faith quite recently, and I'm still trying to figure out if this jump was even a good one. I like the jump, but it did take a lot from me, and now, I'm distancing myself, but at the same time, I keep the lines of communication open. Basically, I want to keep going, and find out where this goes, but waiting is not one of my strengths. I'm working on it, but I just .... /sighs

I don't regret taking the leap of faith at all, but that was a lot of courage. And I have no idea if I have any more courage left to keep going.

I'm in no hurry, but I'm also not very patient. I need to do something. Now, I want to do something at this moment, but again, that cautious side of rearing its ugly head again, and I want to figure out how I can get there sooner. Yea, I know. I'm throwing aside my cautious side, but at the same time, I don't want to let go of my cautious side just yet...


I don't know what to do. I want to wait, but I want to make things happen now. What do I do?

Do I wait or do I try and shake things up?

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